You know, sometimes things just don't go as planned and the idea is to not give up and keep pushing forward, even through the most difficult of times. Example: Ten days ago my mom called to tell me that my grandpa had died.
Without getting super-sappy right here, let me just say that I loved my grandpa. He was accomplished and smart and active and once you got to know him, you'd find that he was actually pretty funny too. The dry wit type. His death wasn't a gigantic shock seeing as he was 84 and his health had been declining for a few years. Also, he specifically said back in October that he was going to die a week into the new year, so thank you for getting us somewhat prepared, grandpa!
The original point of this post, however, is to say that this past week+ has been super busy and stressful and very draining. I guess this time it was legitimately so, but when I think about it, the week before that was super busy and stressful and draining with good reason too. And oh look, the week before THAT was super busy and stressful and draining too! So last night when I was awake with a monster headache because it was 2am and my brain didn't want to go to sleep, I really, really decided to stop being like that. Seeing my life as nothing but "Busy. Stressful. Draining." Or being very "ohmygosh I can't handle this all" or "how am I going to make it through this week?" because that right there ALONE is wearing me out. And I'm done being worn out at 27. Actually no one is the right age to act like that on a daily basis.
Yes, things have been non-stop this past year, but my (self-diagnosed, probably-not-really-existant) ulcer is only going to subside if I take on the huge task of making a permanent attitude adjustment... something I have been consciously putting off doing for years now because it takes so. much. TIME!
I know, I'm pathetic. Its embarrassing.
I guess it takes big events, like deaths, to make you do some navel-gazing and reevaluate what you really want out of life. Especially if you haven't been the biggest fan of "life" for quite awhile. But that's what I'm doing, really focusing. Figuring out what it's going to take and then making the changes. And seriously, it's about damn time.
I'll keep you updated.
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